New Year Funny Facebook Status

This time next year I'll be laughing in the face of the Mayans.  End of the world? Pfttt.

At this time of year there are more overweight people in the developed world than average weight people. So overweight people are now average, which means I’ve met my New Year’s resolution.

New year, same goal.

2011 is nearly over so like this status if I've made you smile at any time this year.

New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.

R.I.P. 2011 (2011-2011)


A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

My new years resolution is to start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.

I'm planning on finding new and interesting things to hate about my job in 2012.

My 2012 New Year’s resolution is to adhere to my resolutions for longer than 24 hours.

My 2012 new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by looking at my glass half-full (with either rum, vodka, or whiskey).

New Years Eve – one of the only days when it is socially acceptable to start drinking this early.

Looking back with gratitude, looking forward with hope.

I'm actually feeling pretty okay about not accomplishing anything this year

There have been many times in 2011, when I have annoyed you, distubed you, irritated you, bugged you… today I just wanna tell you… I plan to continue in 2012!

Wishing everyone an extremely Happy New Year! May we all lose our belly fat and unsightly pimples, get gorgeous hair and hefty pay-raises and may the wrath of the Almighty fall upon anyone who looks prettier than us in group photographs.

New Years Eve; Helping ugly people get laid since 1 AD.