.
A bachelor is like a modern cleanser: works fast and leaves no ring.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.
A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.
A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
A procrastinator's work is never done.
A real patriot is someone who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.
A weird thing about humans is we work till we're sick to get a fortune, then pay a fortune to get well again.
All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.
All mothers are working mothers.
All the so-called "secrets of success" will not work unless you do.
All work and no play is the average school day.
All work and no play, will make you a manager.
Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to avoid work.
Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner or the workshop. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always strike your toes.
ARMY: Tracers work both ways.
Art is work, to sell it is art.
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.
At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'.
Beat the 5 o'clock rush, leave work at noon.
Beautiful young people are acts of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.
Buses stop at bus stations, trains at train stations, my desk has a workstation.
By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.
Celebrity: someone who works all his life to be recognized, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.
Choose a job you like and you will never have to work a day of your life.
College is like a woman; you work so hard to get in and nine months later you wish you'd never come.
Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.
Communism is like prohibition - it's a good idea, but it won't work.
Computers cut my work in half.... and the boss expects me to put it all back together!
Computers will never replace the wastebasket when it comes to streamlining office work.
Computers: working daily to make the human brain obsolete.
Consultants have credibility because they aren't dumb enough to work at your company.
Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
Definition of Innocence: Nun working in condom factory thinking she's making sleeping bags for mice.
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
Sunday, 25 July 2010
Thursday, 1 July 2010
Graphic Facebook Status Updates
....that's graphic as in 'picture' not as in 'pornographic'! (Sorry if you're disappointed)
Donna is Loading ████████████ 99%
scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
Mark is downloading porn ████████████ 99%
Catherine ║▌║█║▌║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: £12.48
------ ̿̿̿ ̿' ̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿ -------
╭∩╮( º.º )╭∩╮
:¨·.·¨:
`·.. Insert lover's name
░█░░░█░█░▄▀░█▀▀░░░░▀█▀░█░█░█░▄▀▀░
░█░░░█░█▀░░░█▀░░▄▄░░█░░█▀█░█░░▀▄░
░█▄▄░█░█░▀▄░█▄▄░░░░░█░░█░█░█░▄▄▀░
<º))))><
><((((º>
*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Your Name
┣▇▇▇═─ Hates Needles!
╔♫═╗╔╗ ♥
╚╗╔╝║║♫═╦╦╦╔╗
╔╝╚╗♫╚╣║║║║╔╣
╚═♫╝╚═╩═╩♫╩═╝
ஜ۩۞۩ஜ YOU ஜ۩۞۩ஜ
Tnetennba
..... Good Morning, That's a nice Tnetennba!
..... Is that a Tnetennba down your pants or are you happy to see me?
..... wants to thank Moss for commenting on his Tnetennba this morning.
..... Tnetennba.com
.....I came here to drink milk and kick ass. I just finished my milk...
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